Desperation

Dispatching desperation

In every direction.

My reflection

Is taking me backwards in time.

When I could look at myself.

Cook for myself.

Shit, I was almost an adult.

Now it’s my fault

That my time

Is not mine.

The way I bind

Myself into a day.

It’s okay.

I guess,

But the stress

Is the test of all tests

That has been trying

To get the better of me.

I would have been better

If she

Had never called at all.

I mean I stalled

What I was suppose to do

With this small amount of conversation

It only satisfied me

Like masturbation.

Where even all the time

Is not enough.

This stuff

You spout from your face.

It can’t replace

The taste

Or the space

You used to provide.

I want you to go away

Or stay.

But don’t make me balance on the

If, when, why, what

It’s been built up

To much.

To where falling is my only option.

I’m fragile.

Man or not

I’m fragile.

Like the glass

You pass

To a friend for a hit.

But I caught it.

Your subtle undertone.

And I stand here,

Alone.