He’s a thorn in my soul. Every time I switch from side to side to avoid him, I feel a pinch and I cringe. Those deep blue eyes are like oceans with a single black island for me to rest on. But there is no rest when he’s around it always fury or tension or excitement. I should stab him in the heart but instead I tell him I want to see him again. I tell I have a project I need his help on. Then I sit in this sticky, uncomfortable silence and wait for an answer.
Being a woman can be so uncomfortable. It’s always emotions before thought. It’s hard to sort them out in the split second you have to respond in an argument. And he makes it harder because he makes me hot. The droplets of sweat run down my back like rain and sits there, thinking.
I tell him I am in a hurry and ask him again if he work with me. I don’t expect him to run to me but I didn’t expect him to get up and walk away, without so much as a word. I just sat there in my sweat and heated emotion. I couldn’t even cry I was so shocked by his actions. I am a psychologist for Christ’s sake and yet this man is like none I have ever study or read about. He’s a fellow psychologist but this is far beyond playing the game. I really think he’s an alien or a god. I start to think that he’s just so…and then the phone rings. It’s him.
There is sound of distant sighs and then he suddenly felt closer. I don’t speak. I just listen. He says, “I can see you. From my office I can work with you. It just working long hours, into the night would be hard.” There is a silence but I still don’t speak. “I am married now but Linda…Jesus, Linda you’re the still the best kiss ever. How could I not want another? How could I…” and then he hung up.
All I could do was hold the phone and stare where his eyes were just a few minutes ago. A moment like this can make you re-evaluate everything ever knew about your love life. It can make you long for the thing you were sure you didn’t want.
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