Different

I wish I didn’t want you.

Because it would be so easy to wash you.

Out of my life

And into the night.

Then I could feel right.

Instead, I fight

The urge to call.

The urge to write.

But if it could be as it was

Then I wouldn’t be where I am.

And I don’t know if I could take that.

All I ever wanted was a companion I could be independent with.

Call it a special gift

The way I try to shift

The reality

That has to do with me.

Why doesn’t anybody understand?

Just a hand to hold

Some wet sand to mold

That is all she

Has to be.

What’s this?

She doesn’t exist?

It must be a different book I am reading.

A different movie I’m seeing.

Because the rest of the world seems…

Different.